Sunday, June 28, 2009

Passages...

I work in the Funeral Industry, I experience death, tragedy and grief on a daily basis. I witness the best and worst of family dynamics, parents, children and siblings who are estranged, many pass from this life literally alone. This week brought death into view for most as Farrah Fawcett lost her battle with cancer and Michael Jackson's life came to an abrupt end. We mark their passing with TV tributes, stories, twitting, face book comments, text messaging and conversation between each other. Michael Jackson's death brought the Internet to a stand still as millions were trying to come to terms with his passing. A world left in shock to think the King of Pop as we knew him had experienced death. Many have shared stories of his unhappy, unfulfilled life and miserable life. Others have paid tribute to his phenomenal musical talent, his profound influence on pop culture and how he crossed the color barrier with his music.

Passages are transitions and change in our lives. Each of us will experience many passages in life until we ultimately graduate from ~Earth School~ and have earned our wings. I have been reflecting on the many passages in my life, the lives of my parents, my siblings and my children. Last night as I was coming home from the grocery shopping, Griffin and Jackie were waiting in the drive way. They came out to have dinner and chat. A passage.....there is a time in ones life where friends are less important and the relationships with parents and siblings become paramount. We enjoyed the nicest visit. We reminisced about Griffin's younger years....talked about his work which he loves and he and Jackie talked about their future plans. I took in every minute. As I looked at my son, I was humbled at the man he has become. I am blessed to have had a small part of his upbringing. I have told Griffin from the time he was little I believe he has the ability to change the world. Griffin is very intentional, intellectual, loving, passionate, kind and resourceful. He will make is mark in science and music. Jackie is a wonderful companion for him. He is at peace in his life...he feels joy and accomplishment...

Kylie returned from a week at the beach...she called me Friday night to talk...she was not feeling well, a little bit home sick and definitely ready to come home. My heart smile as I looked back over Kylie's life. There has been so much growth as she has developed her talents. Kylie is beautiful, her physical beauty parallels her spiritual beauty. She will leave her mark caring and serving others. She is spiritual, influential, intentional and driven. As she returned home, there was a change, she returned as a confident young woman who is sure of her direction in love and life. It's amazing what time away from those you love can teach you...if your heart is open. I ran into Kylie and Evan on their way out the door.. it was clear....there had been a passage....a greater appreciation, love and commitment between the two. The future feels good and Kylie slept well.

Ethan is going to start the last year of his high school career...another passage.....12 years of personal growth, learning experiences both positive and painful, learning to ride a bike, to driving a car, learning how to choose good friends, dating, dances and coming into his own. Ethan is very much like Griffin when it comes to being very intentional, driven, confident and successful...Ethan also has the ability to change the world...Ethan will make his mark in music and creating a world wide service organization....He is very humanitarian....which makes me smile.

I looked at old pictures of Cori. Its funny to think there is another human being that looks so much like me...She is so talented, outgoing and just plain fun to be around. Cori is the ultimate hostess, excellent cook and entertainer. She is hardworking, determined and successful. Cori has always looked for the road less traveled. She has never been interested in being like everyone else, she has always made her own way. Cori picks herself up after a fall, as grown into a beautiful, talented woman and wife. Cori and Brett share a wonderful companionship and deep love...Cori and Brett suffered a miscarriage earlier this year...not a set back....just a passage...their time is coming and Cori will transition from young woman to young mother....

My life has been almost story book...there are those chapters that need revising...family relationships aren't always easy or attainable. One of the challenges we all face.. When I go back and revisit the early chapters of my life with my own children I clearly see my passage...young mother, single mother and successful mother....The hard lessons are my most treasured. As my children have grown into adults I have come to understand the scope of my role as their mother. I smile when I see the passage of the last 11 years as a single mom. Not only have I survived, I have healed my heart, healed the fractures in the communication with my kids, and I feel accomplished, respected, supported and loved by so many. I have been blessed with health, strength and a strong testimony of my beliefs, I have come to understand compassion, tolerance and patience..I have learned what it feels like to be nice, instead of worrying about having to be right.

Passages are amazing times in our lives....not only does a passage signify the important events in our lives, more importantly a passage is the route or course by which a person or thing passes or travels....

"I expect to pass through this world but once: if therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."

William Ashmead Courtenay

Carla

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