Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Present yet Absent.......

~If we all did the things we are capable of,
we would astound ourselves.~
Thomas Edison

September 1, 2009…. a very important date at one time in my life… My wedding anniversary today…just a date.. There are many important dates in our lives. Birth dates, Engagement Dates, Wedding Dates and Death Dates. There are benchmarks, milestones, landmarks and touchstones that signify great personal accomplishments.. New Ventures, new partnerships and new opportunities that await each of us.

The past several weeks my life has been a divine swirl of new ventures, new partnerships and new opportunities that have consumed my time which is why, many of my ~Bella Friends~ may have felt my absence…but let me assure you…I am present..

I have started my own consulting business, gone back to school to complete my degree in Social Work and have the great joy of planning my daughter Kylie’s wedding. This past month I been present while putting the pieces of my new business together, every piece divinely coming together. Pursuing my education has also proven to be a great blessing. Serendipity placed me in the right place at the right time…The right adviser, proved to be invaluable as she encouraged and inspired me…. I was very present Thursday evening August 20, 2009, when my future son in law called me, to ask my permission to marry my daughter. An unspeakable privilege and true Kodak moment of a mothers heart.

Last Friday evening I was present as we celebrated my oldest son’s 26th birthday, my future son in laws 25th birthday, the engagement and a new house. We had a blast! I watched my kids now young adults interacting with each other, congratulating each other, hugging, laughing, sharing war stories of growing up. Talking about the future. I was present and felt accomplished for the role I have been blessed to play in their lives.

I have made a greater effort to be present for my friend Claudia who is battling breast cancer. She is my hero. She is fighting her battle like everything else she does in her life with the utmost dignity and privacy. She shares her fears of waking up and having her gorgeous hair lying on her pillow no longer alive or attached… She shares quietly making her way to the bathroom not to alarm her youngest daughter who is present that she is desperately sick and throwing up would be a blessing. Claudia just smiles and moves through her day. Praying that tomorrow will be better, easier, less nauseated, more energy…counting her first Chemo treatment off her calendar…and focusing on getting back to her elementary school class room to finally meet her new little students…who have no idea what an amazing teacher Claudia is.

I spent more time with my sweet mom who has advancing Alzheimer’s. At times I am not sure how I feel about loosing my mom…this battle is hard, her enemy is persistent and unrelenting. She continues to slip quietly away…everyday shows the signs of a battle losing ground. My mom has come to the realization that: a box of DOTS makes the perfect day, a good Sandra Bullock movie with popcorn soothes the soul, Jim Rockford is a hunk….and Angelia Landsbury makes the perfect detective.

I make an effort to spend time in the service of my Lord. “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” Hebrews 13:2 I am present to give thanks..daily for the amazing and abundant blessings I constantly receive. it’s like magic…The more you Give the more you Get!

What is absent? Fear, Limiting thoughts, Seeking Validation Externally, Self Defeating Behavior, Discouragement, Despair, Feeling Overwhelmed…

Christopher Robin was absolutely right when he told Pooh…~“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think!

Go ahead…Show up and be present today!
Live with intensity and purpose!


1 comment:

Brett and Em Randall said...

great post. so poud of you mama! im coming by to see you guys soon!!!