Saturday, October 17, 2009

Reflections and Transitions....

I took a deep breath and while I was exhaling.. I thought...ah...I know what's missing in my very busy October....a recent blog post. So here I am on Saturday late afternoon updating my blog. I feel like where do I start? So many feelings, emotions and experiences I want to share yet....not sure how this will all come together. As many of you know my sweet mom is in the battle of her life, Alzheimer's....is relentless, ravaging, unkind and uninvited. Last week end I spent most of the week end with my mom, we reminisced about her life, her joys, her pains, her accomplishments and shortcomings. As I was listening to my mom's stories, my mind drifted back to my memories of growing up, getting married, raising my own children and the next transition in my life...the "empty nest". I can vividly remember when my mom was my age... she was still raising her family, had many ups and downs, enjoyed great success in developing a business that she loved, she really cared about those around her. She was a giver by nature, and fearless. I can't recall anything my mom was afraid of. Yet I know she became a master at hiding her disappointments, detaching herself from painful memories yet she was faithful and continued to live through the pains of life to enjoy the precious treasured moments of watching her children transition into adulthood, marry, have children and serve in the churches and communities in which we live. I have been blessed with many of my mother's most enduring qualities.

As I continue to live my life, I have relished the relationships I have with my four children and their respective partners, I have been so blessed with cherished friends, great employment and now educational opportunities. I have come to embrace the realization that life doesn't always work the way I want it to, I am not only a survivor of life's experiences, I am thriving..growing and learning about myself, my biases, my capabilities, my ability to change those things in my life that no longer serve me..Courage to forge ahead...having confirmation that I am on my path..

I want to take a minute to thank my kids. Griffin, I am so very proud of you and your many accomplishments. I am so proud of your courage to live your life....at times when you have felt judgment from family. You have been blessed with great gifts...especially with knowledge and compassion. I've always told you, you have the ability to change the world...and you are doing just that...

Cori, I am so very proud of you and your many gifts and talents...I am also proud of the life you have chosen to lead and live. You are making new friends, and influencing those around you for good! I admire your strong will, great sense of humor and great love you are willing to share with those around you! I know you are change the world.... one great recipe at a time!

Kylie, I am so very proud of you, the life you choose to lead and your example. You have been blessed with great gifts especially with your testimony, your kind heart and your willingness to serve those around you. I admire the young woman you have become. I admire your courage to listen to your heart...Your accomplishments will be many...

Ethan...my baby...I am so very proud of you. You have been blessed with great talents and abilities. You are very in tune with those around you, always ready and willing to make an other's day brighter....you are an old soul..for sure. You are in the process of changing the world...one music track at a time.

I want you all to know how much I love and appreciate each of you! I appreciate your support of my going to back to school! I appreciate the willingness to help me with math! I am so proud of the amazing young adults you have grown into.

The past 12 years have been a journey for all of us. We have learned to pull together and not apart, for that I am so grateful! I appreciate each of you, your interventions especially on my behalf when I needed you all the most! Your forgiveness, your unconditional love and support, your telephone calls and text messages, your posts on face book....and most of all....your hugs, kisses and outward expressions of love... you all continue to fill up my cup!

As I reflect back over the past years and continue to transition into the future that awaits me..I know one thing for sure, my journey is unfolding better than I could have ever expected. Thank you dear Lord....I am blessed.

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