Sunday, March 15, 2009

Joy and Abundance......

As the days of March going blowing by....I had a remarkable experience tonight...I was thinking of all of the turmoil around me, and I was feeling such joy and abundance in my life. I am at peace. Peace is an amazing feeling when I feel my Savior close at hand. I smile as I type tonight as the events of the past are just that....a passing away...I feel calm and at peace. As I reflect the major events of my life...I am thankful, grateful and appreciate the experiences that have shaped my life and the person that I am. For a long time I felt my past owned my future. I didn't understand the power of forgiveness, grace and unconditional love. I wasn't comfortable really peeling back the layers of my life, my experiences and my emotions. As I stood at the crossroads it is with love that I can leave those painful memories of my past, those destructive relationships, the judgment of those closest to me. I let go of all of those experiences with love and gratitude for the lessons learned. I feel my Savior's love, his presence and his guidance daily. There are times he will calm the storm....there are other times he allows the storm to rage..but he calms the child.....Life is not about fearing the storm as it rages...life is about learning to dance in the rain....

March 17, 2009 marks a milestone...Ethan will be 17, it is truly his golden birthday. Over the past two weeks I have been in touch with all of my kids more than usual....I have been blessed to spend time with Griffin. I am so proud of the man he is. I appreciate the courage in which he lives his life. I appreciate his love, grace and care. I have been blessed with four amazing children. I am often reminded by others what nice kids I have. I am a great mom. A calling I hold to be the dearest...The joy I feel from the relationships I have created with each of my children is priceless. As time continues to march by....I have so much to look forward to .....life experiences of my kids getting married, grandchildren...and my spending time with an amazing companion. The possibilities are endless.....and exciting...

Many changes are coming for my small family all of them are blessings and amazing.

Saturday I had lunch with my mom. She is always happy, always wanting to share her good fortune, a great story and we laugh...As we were talking she shared her memories of her early married life with me. We shared many laughs, many tears but more importantly she shared her feelings of my being a part of her life. As I listened to her many stories, her feelings and the many outcomes....I admired her so much. I look back over her life and can understand more fully the life she lead and the sacrifices she made to live her life. My mom has become a great story teller. She made the comment that this is not how she envisioned living out her life...alone. She is very much concerned about not being able to live with my dad. I am saddened she is so aware of his absence.

I see death and dying everyday...My heart aches for all my families. When I spend time with my mom, its hard to know she will always be in the care of someone else until her time. I know Grampa and Grandma Gibby, Aunt Lois, Uncle Bill just to name a few are standing by cheering mom on. They will be ready and waiting....on this side of the veil....we are all cheering mom on and learning the lessons of unconditional love and service. I was at the cemetery on Friday and a daughter shared with me she was devastated when her mother passed away 13 years ago. She was very close to her mom...and not as close to her dad. She dreaded having to take care of him. She was very emotional as she was sharing her sweet testimony with me on how the Savior knew exactly what lessons she was in need of. She took such good care of her sweet father...for 13 years....they grew to be fast friends..She grew in her capacity to forgive him, cherish him and relish their time together. What a wonderful opportunity to look inside ourselves to realize how the Savior is always willing to provide the lessons and experiences that allow us to grow and become more like him.

Our Sacrament meeting was outstanding today....Three exceptional talks on the Atonement. The spirit was so strong, those who spoke were so real and courageous in sharing their "hard-road" experiences....Again proof positive the Lord has provided a way back....we just have to muster the courage to walk right into the storm...fearing nothing. There is a silver lining just on the other side....

I am thankful for my blessings, my children, dear friends, good health, the continuous prosperity that is ever so present in my life.

I see the divine in every aspect of life daily. I see and feel the tender mercies that take place all around me. I use to think I am lucky.................today I know I am blessed and watched over. More importantly I am a daughter of God. His Grace has blessed me with so many gifts and talents, he is so willing to share his kingdom of joy and abundance with all of us.

My heart is full....thank you for listening, reading,commenting.....

Carla